Karunā (Compassion)
by Marjolein Janssen
It is often said that wisdom (pañña in Pali) and compassion (karunā) are like two wings of the same bird. We need both wings to fly well, or in other words, to move forward on our path.
Wisdom and Compassion
Wisdom means insight, a clear seeing of things as they are, while compassion is the willingness to open up to your own suffering and the suffering of other beings with gentleness and kindness.
When compassion arises, it can feel like the quivering of the heart in the presence of suffering, accompanied by the wish to alleviate that suffering. It is an open, friendly, and even loving attitude, which has nothing to do with pity. With pity, we suffer with others. With compassion, we do not suffer ourselves, but we can be fully present for the suffering of others without drowning in it or being swept away by it.
A balance is needed between wisdom and compassion, in our daily lives, and also in our meditation practice. Too often, the emphasis is placed on wisdom, on developing insight, and less on developing compassion, or the other brahmavihara (Pali for the ‘divine abodes’). This can lead to an imbalance. In this article, the emphasis is on the wing of compassion on our path, but always in relation to wisdom. For compassion and wisdom cannot exist without each other.
Opening to Suffering
Compassion, supported by wisdom, enables us to face our own suffering and the suffering of others. We engage with suffering, we do not hide from it, we do not suppress it, we let suffering be as it is. But why would we open ourselves to suffering? Why would we do that to ourselves? Engaging with suffering can be painful and uncomfortable. At the same time, it can make us more resilient and teach us to be vulnerable. We also develop tolerance, reducing our tendency to suppress the difficulties that life brings our way. In this way, it helps us directly on our path to greater happiness.
To see that not shying away from difficulties indeed helps us towards more happiness, peace, and harmony, we need wisdom. Wisdom shows us that life is not always a celebration and that suffering is part of it. Wisdom does not make us immune to suffering, but it makes us more open to it and able to deal with it in a healthy way. With wisdom, we see that in the long run, hiding from suffering does not lead to happiness. Finally, wisdom also teaches us when it is appropriate to temporarily close our hearts to ensure our own safety.
A heart filled with compassion not only opens to the difficulties of life but also wishes to lighten and alleviate suffering, whether it is our own or that of others.
It can be a strong motivator to leave the world better than we found it. But if it is not possible to alleviate the suffering, wisdom helps us to remain open to it nonetheless.
Compassion in Relation to the Other Brahmaviharas
Wisdom and compassion are truly two wings of the same bird: if one of the two is less well developed, we fly unevenly.Compassion without wisdom degenerates into pity and also into an unwillingness to face the difficulties in our lives with an open mind. Wisdom without compassion leads to indifference to the suffering in the world.
The Practice of Compassion
The practice of compassion works almost the same way as the practice of mettā. If you are not familiar with the practice of mettā, read the instructions in my previous article on mettā before continuing with the practice of compassion.
Just as with mettā, there are phrases you can use for compassion. Examples include:
- I care about your suffering.
- May you have the strength to face your suffering.
- May you be free from suffering.
- May you be calm and peaceful.
And just like with mettā, you can be creative when practicing compassion: you can change the phrases or use your own phrases.
You can start by directing the phrases, along with your feeling of compassion, to a person close to you whom you know is suffering. This is generally considered the easiest category for compassion (each brahmavihārā has its own ‘easiest’ category). Then you can practice compassion for yourself, followed by compassion for a benefactor, a neutral person, a difficult person, and finally, all living beings.
The ‘near enemy’ of compassion, which we easily mistake for compassion but is not, is pity. With pity, we suffer along with the other person, while with compassion, we remain balanced. The ‘far enemy’, which is the opposite of compassion, is cruelty or the desire to cause harm to others.
As with mettā practice, it is also good to be alert to these enemies and to realize that the development of the brahmavihārā is a purification process: it will bring up what is not in line with these wholesome states of heart and mind.